This past weekend we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. When we first got married our goal was to celebrate our 7th in Fiji. That didn’t happen. Life has a funny way of not going along with our plans. 7 years is still a milestone I’ve been looking forward to because according to research you’re much more likely to spend the rest of your life together.
Now let me be clear that divorce has never been on the table for us. It’s not an option and won’t ever be, at least for us. We also know all too well that death can come at anytime and is no forgiver of man. Both of those exceptions aside I’m so excited we’ve made it this far and I’m even more excited for the years ahead!
Supposedly, there is a thing called the 7 Year Itch in which happiness between married partners decreases and the likelihood for divorce is at its highest. However, the research goes on to show that at the 7 year mark is when a couple either divorces or adapts to each other. I think Chanel and I have both adapted really well to each other over the last 7 years. How could we not? We’ve never been apart for more than 6 days, we don’t have our own friends (as in I don’t have guys friends that she doesn’t know and she doesn’t have girlfriends that I don’t know), we rarely go on trips without each other and our partner’s opinion always comes before anyone else’s.
When we first got married I was extremely extroverted, I always wanted to hang out with people and never wanted to be home. Chanel meanwhile was introverted, always begrudging going places with me while wishing she could be at home curled up on the couch. Fast forward 7 years and Chanel is lucky to get me out of the house! I don’t know if that’s adapting to each other but it’s certainly change and I think that’s what married people lose focus of.
Your partner will change. They will eventually not be the same person you married. It’s up to you and the lifestyle you both create to determine who they will change in to.
If you’re not changing you’re not growing.
For one, we’ve both changed into parents. That was a major change but it brought us closer together. Every difficult thing we’ve faced has brought us closer together, finances, death, job loss, miscarriage, etc. When hard change comes it can either tear you apart or bring you together, depending on how you respond to it.
When hard things do happen in your marriage the best solution is to not blame, but instead, take responsibility. I think that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned in 7 years of marriage. To be fair, I’m still learning it.
The 7 Year Itch doesn’t just happen, couples let it happen by not being intentional in their marriage. Intentional about loving their spouse unconditionally. Intentional about being committed to each other.
So, 7 Year Itch? Yeah, right!