The other night we were all sitting in the living room just hanging out with each other. Thanks to my work schedule it’s something we are able to do a few times every day. I was sitting there just watching our boys play and interact with each other and the moment just kind of struck me so I told Beckham I was so glad he was my son. Without missing a beat he said “I’m glad you’re my daddy”. Hearing him say that brought me to tears. Legitimately. He asked me why I was crying and I told him they were just happy tears.
I believe it’s important that a son sees his dad cry because it shows him that it’s okay to do the same. It’s sometimes seen as weak and maybe that is true. I cry during worship songs because I realize how weak I am compared to God (disclaimer: I also cried when Brett Favre and Kobe Bryant retired sooo….). I cried when all of our kids were born because one again I realized how weak I was compared to God’s magnificent power and ability to create new life. I cried when I saw Chanel at our wedding as she started to walk down the aisle (and I didn’t stop for probably a half hour) because I realized how much God was about to bless me by bringing us together.
I didn’t realize it at the time this all happened but while Beckham and I were talking he was drawing a picture of our family. When he showed it to me he proudly showed me that he had drawn me with tears on my face, but he said “Don’t worry, they’re happy tears”. He also drew Chanel and Maverick and even Amelia. He’s at the stage where hand-drawn people have arms coming out of their head, fingers that look like straw and knee caps the size of a soccer ball, so it wasn’t exactly drawn to scale but it was still a great drawing of our family. (It’s so funny that one of the details he puts in his pictures is kneecaps, of all things!)
We hung it up in Beckham and Maverick’s room, so they could see it anytime they wanted to, and then we just stared at it. I noticed little details like the fact that he wrote the first letter of each person’s name next to them so we would know who was who. When they see it I hope they remember that I was crying happy tears, and that they remember they’re the reason why.
After we put them to bed that night Chanel and I just sat on the couch thanking God for blessing us with the family He’s given us (it wasn’t all spiritual, we turned on Netflix a few minutes later). That evening I was just so blown away in recognizing what God has given me. Although He has taken away as well, I am still blessed beyond belief.
Take a moment and make sure your kids know that you are BLESSED by them. Not annoyed, irritated or tired because of them (although those are true at one point or another) but BLESSED. You might have not been able to have kids or you might have been one of those weird couples who chooses to not have kids but instead God chose to give YOU the kids you have. I think when we can truly grasp the meaning of that then we will become better parents.