There’s a common idea I’ve seen shared around for a while now.
Marriage is 50-50
The idea is that if each person in the relationship contributes 50% then your marriage will equal 100% and you will have a long and happy life full of nothing but love for each other.
Excuse me, while I laugh my head off.
What a 50-50 marriage actually looks like is me emptying the dishwasher and leaving the dirty dishes for my wife to load. Washing the sheets from our bed but then just laying them on the bed afterwards for her to make later. Going to work for the day and coming home expecting her to make dinner and clean it up and get the kids ready for bed.
A 50-50 marriage means you don’t have enough skin in the game. Actually, it means you have just enough skin in the game. You’re not fully committed. If you were, you wouldn’t be 50-50, you’d be 100% in.
A marriage cannot be successful OR long lasting if both spouses are not 100% in. It takes two FULLY committed people that are 100% in 100% of the time. There will obviously be bad days or trying seasons but you have to maintain perspective.
If you both work a full time job then you both get to make dinner and get kids ready for bed. If one works and the other stays at home, then you both get to make dinner and get kids ready for bed, being a stay-at-home parent is as difficult as being a part of the workforce. If you both stay home then you BOTH get to make dinner and get the kids ready for bed.
I understand there are certain responsibilities that are traditionally assigned to one person in the marriage, I’m not ignoring that fact, just advocating for more TEAM work and togetherness rather than 50-50, my-job, her/his-job mentality. God has blessed you with this partner and he intended marriage to be just that, a partnership.
“If your marriage is 50-50 then no one is leading.”