Marriage Is Not What You Think It Is

Apparently there are some women out there who only go to college to get their “MRS” degree, meaning that they only attend with the intent to find their future husband. They spend years trying to find that perfect guy that will place a diamond ring on their finger. Men will worry and spend years trying to make sure that the woman they’re with is “the one”. The one they’re going to marry, have kids with, grow old with etc.

In going through this process of finding an immaculate spouse we tend to create this image in our head of what the perfect partner would look like. It’s different for every person, for some it may be a tall woman with blonde hair, or for others a barrel chested guy with a beard, who knows? The image doesn’t stop with just physical appearance though, no, it increases beyond that. We want someone who is emotionally stable, who is humorous, forgiving, kind, someone who will make us breakfast every morning, certainly someone who wont argue with us and who is easy to communicate with.

Some people spend a better half of their life looking for this person. Sometimes even moving from city to city when things don’t turn out right. They come up with excuses for why that person wasn’t Mr. or Mrs. Right. Why it’s not going to work out and why they are going to move on and keep on looking.

This is all wrong.

It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s just like the old saying “a watched pot never boils”. When you are out looking for your spouse you will surely not find them. Now I know at this point some of you may disagree with me, that’s okay, this isn’t meant for everyone. I mean come on, how crazy is it to wake up one day with an idea or an image of what you want your spouse to be or look like and you go out walking around your neighborhood, the local Trader Joe’s, or a public park looking for her or him. Isn’t that insane? But that’s exactly what we do when we set a standard that ONLY Mr. Right or Ms. Right can fulfill.

In marriage it’s not about finding the perfect person that will make the perfect spouse.

It’s about YOU being that person you imagine. YOU need to first exhibit those qualities and traits of forgiveness, kindness and purity. You attract who you already are. People are attracted to and want to be around other people who are like them. So if you want a selfless spouse, BE SELFLESS FIRST. It’s really that easy. Marriage is not going to make you or anyone else perfect. It’s about two people who are NOT perfect learning to love each other despite the numerous imperfections. All you can do is find Mr. Not So Right, or Mrs. Always Has to be Right, and by your love, and your dedication they will become YOUR Mr. or Mrs. Right.

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